One day I was born and that was a good day. I’ve never cared much for sharing my story; It’s nothing to crazy or confounding. It won’t turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions or bring the walls of your false reality crashing down around you but I digress. My story doesn’t concern my drug use because that, after all, is only a small part of the problem I was facing when I came to The Watershed. I’m not even sure if they have a medical term for what was kicking around my head, or at least that is how I felt, hopeless and without answers. I came to the shed because though my drug use was under control my state of mind was not. I had overdoses in my distant past but nothing recent. I turned to a rehab merely because my doctors had failed me. They could only treat the physical but I suffer from a mental and spiritual affliction.
Here I learned to cast aside my biggest problem, my selfishness, realizing it’s not about me. It’s something far greater. Coming to terms with my own mortality and realizing the show wasn’t about me is what saved me. Sure I still have my physical ailments but now they seem so petty. So my advice to you reader is you can cling to your way of life and lose it or you can let go and find life in a new way of living.
Remember kids violence isn’t the answer. Violence is the question; the answer is far more terrifying. One day I will die and isn’t that a shame but somewhere in the between I got addicted to drugs do to some painful medical conditions. At some point I was hopeless and bed ridden with pain. I got help I found a pain I never knew before giving up the thing I loved to get rid of the thing I hated, lack of control. It seemed to be going nowhere fast until I finally gave all the way up and found strength out of myself. Now I am as happy as the day is long. All things seem to becoming Josh…of course one day I am still going to die but at least today I am really living.
Josh H. Clean & Sober since 12/02/2014