One Day Will Come

One day I was born and that was a good day. I’ve never cared much for sharing my story; It’s nothing to crazy or confounding. It won’t turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions or bring the walls of your false reality crashing down around you but I digress. My story doesn’t concern my drug use because that, after all, is only a small part of the problem I was facing when I came to The Watershed. I’m not even sure if they have a medical term for what was kicking around my head, or at least that is how I felt, hopeless and without answers. I came to the shed because though my drug use was under control my state of mind was not. I had overdoses in my distant past but nothing recent. I turned to a rehab merely because my doctors had failed me. They could only treat the physical but I suffer from a mental and spiritual affliction.

Here I learned to cast aside my biggest problem, my selfishness, realizing it’s not about me. It’s something far greater. Coming to terms with my own mortality and realizing the show wasn’t about me is what saved me. Sure I still have my physical ailments but now they seem so petty. So my advice to you reader is you can cling to your way of life and lose it or you can let go and find life in a new way of living.

Remember kids violence isn’t the answer. Violence is the question; the answer is far more terrifying. One day I will die and isn’t that a shame but somewhere in the between I got addicted to drugs do to some painful medical conditions. At some point I was hopeless and bed ridden with pain. I got help I found a pain I never knew before giving up the thing I loved to get rid of the thing I hated, lack of control. It seemed to be going nowhere fast until I finally gave all the way up and found strength out of myself. Now I am as happy as the day is long. All things seem to becoming Josh…of course one day I am still going to die but at least today I am really living.

Josh H. Clean & Sober since 12/02/2014

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Came to Believe

My name is Maxwell S. I am 23 years old, I am from Bangor, Maine, and I am an addict. I have been an addict for as long as I can remember. I was introduced to both drugs and alcohol at the age of thirteen. Looking back I can see that even from the beginning, I had lived to use, and used to live. My life was centered around the pursuit of escaping my emotions and reality. I didn’t even believe that I had a problem.

At the age of twenty one I received a harsh reality check in the form of a three year suspended prison sentence. I had chosen to facilitate the needs of my addiction by stealing from someone else. My consequence was serving one year of my three year sentence. My consequence, as bad as it seemed to me, did nothing to curb my obsession to use.

I was released from prison to the custody of my father, and picked up my crutch right where I had left it. Being released to my father was a blessing. He practiced tough love and did not tolerate my actions for long. When my father discovered my use, he sent me to live at the shelter. In that shelter I found the exact mixture of desperation and willingness required to start my journey of recovery.

With the help of my parents I made the call to The Watershed and arrived in Florida two days later. That was how it was for me in active addiction. Before I tell you about what I did this time, I want to tell you about what I had done in the past. My belief up until this point in my life was that I knew more than anyone around me, and that I could fix it all on my own. Prior to The Watershed, I had tried the marijuana maintenance plan. I had tried changing my DOC, and I wanted to try replacement therapy.

The one solution I hadn’t tried happened to be the one they were offering. They, the staff, therapists, etc., of the Shed told me to take suggestions. They told me there was a simple set of steps and principles that I could follow and practice in order to obtain a better life, “A life second to none.” So that is exactly what I did. I got out of bed in the morning and attended all of my group’s in-patient, even though I was sick. I did what Adam and Ms. Jackie told me to do (yes I was second floor).

In the Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) I followed Stacey’s suggestions. I got a job, I got a sponsor at my first outside meeting, I stuck with the winners, and I got into doing The Work. Before I ended up having to return home, I had been taken through the steps by my sponsor and was a resident at three-quarter living. Those are just a few of the suggestions that I followed, and actions I took that allowed me to be where I am today, which is a man, not a boy who lives his life free from addiction.

Today I am accountable; I wake up and go to work every day. I am a man of my word; the people in my life can count on me. I have my family back, and I have my dignity back. My life today is truly second to none. The most important thing I can pass to the newcomer who may read this is to A.) Get a sponsor, B.) Do the work (honestly), C.) Get involved.

Trust God

Clean house

Help others

Yours Truly,

Maxwell S. Clean & Sober since 01/31/2014

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